Day 730: Two years in China

两年前我来到中国. Liǎng nián qián wǒ lái dào zhōngguó. Two years ago I arrived in China. And it’s been a pretty crazy, weird, and sometimes — I must admit — boring ride. At first when I was thinking of what to write for this post, most of it was going to be centered around summarizing my experiences. Instead, I decided upon doing something a little bit more fun and recap what are things I seemingly have gotten used to here, what still annoys me/makes me shake my head in disbelief, and what I miss and don’t miss from the good ole days back in the USA.

Let’s start off with what I’ve gotten used to, or maybe rather, things that don’t quite bother me as much as they did when I first got here:

1. Cars horns and those on e-bikes. I’m still not quite sure why people use their car horns or the ones on their e-bikes so much as a lot of the time it just seems random when they do. Almost like a “Hello, I’m here, do you see me?” type action. My brain must’ve been wired for the western style of road habits as every horn I hear made me worry something bad is about to happen. Now I barely hear or notice them. Crazy.
2. Morning tea instead of coffee. At least for my first cup, anyway, I find myself having tea in the morning instead of coffee. Not because tea is just that much better, but rather it’s way cheaper (coffee beans here cost twice as much by the pound as they do in the USA) and much easier to make, even if using loose leaf teas instead of pre-bagged teas. A grande Americano at Starbucks here is almost $4.50!
3. Ordering food and not getting upset if it’s different than what I expected. A great example of this is from one of my favorite Italian restaurants half a block away from my current apartment, Da Marios 在马里奥 Zài mǎlǐ ào. This restaurant is a bit on expensive 太贵了 Tài guìle side of things but is always delicious and has great service (compared to most restaurants in China). One night I went there with a desire for chicken parmesan. Here I was expecting it to come out and be the delicious dish mama used to make, all breaded and lightly pan-fried, smothered in a delicious marinara sauce, and topped with a good helping of gooey cheese. Nope! Instead it was a delicious amount of chicken smothered in an almost alfredo-type sauce. While tasty in its own right, it wasn’t what I was wanting that night and left a bit disappointed. So I’ve learned never to expect how anything will turn out and instead just be surprised when it does! This applies not only to restaurants but also bars and things you order from TaoBao (EBay-like e-commerce stores).
4. Waking up [and not showering] before you go-go. It seems the Chinese prefer to shower at night right before going to bed. Ok, that makes sense. Especially during the summer months when the temperatures are often above 30C or 35C (86F-95F) and full of humidity that you sweat as soon as you walk outside your apartment. There’s also so much crap in the air that it makes sense to wash up before you get into your nice and clean, comfy sheets. Seeing people walking outside with bedhead and showing up to work looking the same just doesn’t seem to bother me these days or even grab my attention. And no, I still shower in the morning though usually that’s coupled with a nightly pre-bedtime shower from June through September. Water here is seriously cheap, so why not stay as fresh as one can?!

Oooh, this next list might get a bit long 🙂 Things that make me shake my head in disbelief and/or things that still very much annoy me:

1. Smoking. Even in areas designated as “No Smoking” people still smoke. Everywhere. It’s such a disgusting, nasty addiction that ruins not just the smokers health but the health of people around them. It truly is a very selfish act and one that reinforces the “I cannot see outside the 1/2 meter bubble that surrounds me” attitude. (I’ll get to that item next in this list.) I’ve had to yell at someone who was waiting for the elevator in my apartment lobby (it’s a no smoking building) to extinguish his death stick — and if I had not he would’ve just gotten into the elevator when it arrived and continued puffing! I’ve seen people take a “No Smoking” sign from one table at a restaurant/bar and just move it to another table so they could sit there and offend all the non-smokers! Even worse is the people who use public bathrooms in train stations, shopping malls, hotel lobby areas, … you name it! … as their personal smoking oasis. The smell of second hand smoke is bad enough, but you couple it with the stale smell of urine from less than ideally cleaned bathrooms and it’s just nauseating.
2. Seeing outside the personal bubble. Perhaps I should relabel this one as “NOT seeing outside the personal bubble” as it might be more accurate. This personal bubble extends about as far as one’s arms can hold one’s cell phone. Everything that is important in the world exists in this space and nothing could even compete for your attention. And no, this is not just a Chinese Millennial generation thing as it extends just as much to the adults with just one exception: The Chinese Tiger Moms and Tiger Grandmoms, whose focus is squarely and solely on the one kid that’s with them. But now back to the personal bubble: If the bus is crowded and you need to get by a few people standing as there are no seats, don’t expect them to even notice you or slightly move to help you get on your way; you’re going to have to push your way through. If you’re walking towards people on a narrow sidewalk you should probably get ready for a shoulder check as no one is going to notice until after the collision. I know these descriptions are not giving this subject any justice as this is something you need to witness first hand to believe.
3. Leaving tables dirty as casual restaurants and cafes. It’s always better to have someone clean up after you than to bother yourself for 5 seconds to take your tray of uneaten food and waste items to the trash can so someone else could use the table once you’re gone, right?
4. Talking loudly Yelling into one’s cell phone.  While I’ll continue reminding my mom that she’s guilty of this contemporaneously — and she does sometimes listens <grin> — I just cannot get over how LOUDLY the locals speak yell into their cell phones. I’m really glad they want to have everyone on the bus know they have a phone call and ensure everyone who is 3-5 meters (10-15 feet) away can grasp one side of that conversation! 喂,你好? 好好好…对对对…不是! 好的,再见. Wéi, nǐ hǎo? Hǎohǎo hǎo… Duì duì duì… Bùshì! Hǎo de, zàijiàn. But wait, it gets better! Imagine being on a crowded high-speed train and someone decides they need to make a phone call ON SPEAKER PHONE and then others around them decide the exact same thing. Or better yet, someone WeChatt’ed them a video link on Youku 优酷 Yōukù that has to be watched at that very moment and yet they have no headphone. Gah. In public here there is very little chance for peace and quiet.
5. Pissing in public. It seems that the guys have this one downpat while the women are the lesser offenders. Anytime you see a guy standing with his back towards where the crowd is, especially if he’s off to the side and near a bush or tree, and if he’s not moving, he’s likely pissing. No shame, no care, no worries. Just doing it right there and then. Often you’ll see this along the side of a road just after a tollbooth or in parks (even if there are bathrooms nearby). One time I was looking out the window at work while contemplating how to solve a problem and saw a dude pissing no more than 20 meters from our building’s main entrance! Gah! Besides the lack of shame and not understanding how dirty of an act that is, there is just no way to wash ones hands after that! Which leads me to the next item …
6. Hand washing. Fortunately westerners still practice this custom quite often but it seems the locals do not. Well, at least to the point where actual “washing” is involved. Often times just quickly splashing water on the tips of your fingers for 1-2 seconds seems to do the trick here. Why bother with soap? It’s not needed. I can’t see any germs, therefore there can’t be any. I’m still so disgusted by this habit I’ve become accustomed to NOT shaking hands when meeting someone for the first time.
7. Hot water. It’s the Chinese cure-all and is had at every meal. If it’s not served boiling hot, it’s not worth drinking! Did you just sneeze? Here, have some hot water! Do you have a fever? Here, have some hot water! Are you feeling dizzy because it’s 45C (113F) outside? Here, have some hot water! Did you just break your leg because a car hit into you on your e-bike as neither of you decided to follow the red light traffic signal and decided to go through the intersection at top speed and you didn’t put your helmet on that day? Here, have some hot water! Think I’m joking? Here, watch this video — and then have some hot water!

What I miss from the USA:

1. Coffee. ‘Nuff said. 🙂
2. Being understood the first time. I’m trying my best to get better at speaking Chinese, but still have a long way to go both in my speaking ability and quickly comprehending what was just said. In the USA, no matter whom I’m speaking to or where they’re coming from — with the sole exception being some places in the southeast of the USA, but that’s a whole other story — I can pretty much hold a conversation and be understood by the other person. In China, whether the conversation is in broken Chinese or Chinglish it’s just tiring.
3. Cheese. Like coffee, cheese here in China, as is the case for most dairy or cow-based products, is just so darn expensive. You can find it and buy it, but don’t get used to it as you’ll quickly go broke trying to fill your belly with that gooey goodness. What’s worse, is not being able to have good Mexican food here because there is no cheese! Yes, yes … I know, authentic traditional Mexican food doesn’t rely on cheese as much as Americans think it does and Chicken Mole is manna from heaven when prepared right.  But sometimes you just want a chicken taco made the ‘Murican way! Or a cheese burger that has actual cheese on it and not some chemical-based substance crap.

What I don’t miss from the USA:

1. Tipping. OMG. Tipping is so annoying. Everyone expects a tip for doing their job in the USA instead of hoping for a tip for providing a service above and beyond what is required. Not tipping at restaurants, bars, hotels, cabs, Didi (the equivalent of Uber here) … it’s just so nice.
2. Sales tax. Having to explain to my coworkers why they should always add 10% to any price tag they see in the USA gets tiring. It’s quite nice when you can go into a store, see the price of something, and then go to the register and not be surprised by the final total.
3. Rent. Oh, don’t get me wrong, I still have to pay rent here but dang is it cheap in comparison! I live in a pretty posh apartment right now and it’s about 1/3 the cost of what a not-so-nice place would cost in San Francisco and about 1/2 the cost of what it would be in Seattle. Currently I’m looking for a different apartment, however, so I can cut down on my commute time to work (I love the idea of being able to walk to the office again and get there in 15 minutes … my commute each way now is about 55-60 minutes … and getting worse with the subway construction ripping up the roads … uggh). The places I’m looking at near the office are pretty nice, have fantastic lake views, are on high-floors, come furnished, and are less than $1000 / mo for a one-bedroom. If I wanted to live in a more modest type apartment or share a place with a roommate, that price could drop down to about $250 – $500 / mo.  Yeah, when was the last time you even thought about paying $500 / mo for an apartment?

So that about wraps up a decent sized list of observations from two years living in China. If you’ve lived here or have visited in the past, I’m curious to hear what would be on your list so leave some comments and let’s continue the conversation!